it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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