she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
