I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
