all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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