For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
