youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
