My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
