The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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