making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
