What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
