I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
