you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
