my soul wont recognize me after tonight
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
