3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
