Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
