I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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