I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize