I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
