I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
