The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
