You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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