to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
