Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
