Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i will never coherently bang her
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
