So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I faked an abortion last night.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
