Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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