did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
