check it out our google latitudes are spooning
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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