erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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