i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
