Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
