Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
