i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
