none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
