Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
