life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
