hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
