omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
