I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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