3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
