found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
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