this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
