can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
