Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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