Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
