No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
