jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
