What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
