I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
