I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
